Making Friends Sucks

Well it does. And I know it’s not just me, so let’s not all pretend we enjoy meeting new people, okay? It’s hard. And uncomfortable. And worse if you’re a woman. Men immediately have something in common to talk about- Sports. It’s their go-to. Women don’t have that. Although Pinterest is coming a long way into allowing women the same perk. But really, why is it so hard? I went to a book club thing recently with all women (as if I needed to add the all women part of that sentence). Anyway, every single one of them I talked to was super nice and very cordial. Still, I felt odd and out of place. Am I really that insecure? Yes. Yes I am.

Most of these women knew each other and as they sat there and laughed at their inside jokes and talked about each other’s kids and husbands and the hilarious thing someone who wasn’t there said, I thought “these aren’t my people”. Like I was in some sort of tribe or cult back in SC or something. I don’t mean “these aren’t my type of people”, they are. Funny, sarcastic, witty, classy, chic, food-lovin ladies. That’s my type! Ding, Ding, Ding…we have a match! But it was more like I was looking in from the outside on someone else’s friendship. I know I’ve felt this before and I know that some of those “others” are now my good friends, but at first it’s like I understand child birth is- you forget the awful beginning once it’s over. Now, I don’t have kids so I don’t know if that’s true but I do know some people that have had a second child after a miserable, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad birthing so there must be something to it.

I almost backed out of this little shindig at the last minute. I was going to claim tired, or busy, or root canal or something, but then I took a step back and thought "you are not an island, you have to make friends and not rely on Sparky"(or Syd- bless her for being my SC friend up here). Then I pushed myself even further and decided I needed to do this not only for myself but for Syd as well. I’m so selfless, I’ll take one for the team. Yeah, I really did have this sort of crazy conversation in my head. I also like to debate with myself about how people just talk to strangers and seem so comfortable and why I’m not that way. Some people are born with it and some develop it, I am neither. Sparky will talk to anyone. And I mean that literally. Any other human or animal. Everywhere we go. Constantly. It’s amazing and disturbing all at the same time. But I am deceiving. If you know me, you think I am crazy right now for saying this because, sadly, you can’t get me to shut up. Sorry about that.

Am I shy? Am I sizing everyone up? Am I judging? I’m not judging. If anything, I’m feeling judged as I stand there silent. But judged based on what? My lack of talking? My face? Is there something on my face? And why do I always suddenly feel like there’s something on my face? Like a sign that says “New person. Look at me! I don’t belong here”. And now I have the added pressure of my accent (which apparently is only heard some of the time by certain people) but one good y’all will stop them short. And then I think they expect me to be some kind of southern belle walking around with a big, floppy hat and some sweet tea talking about “bless her heart y’all. Well,I was just fixin to go make some more tea and sit out on the porch and fan myself.” Indeed.

Madonna, Don't Preach

It is unfortunate that I come to you with a heavy heart today. I am saddened at what transpired last night. I had high hopes for what would turn out to be nothing but regret that I didn't get more sleep. It all started yesterday afternoon when I received a call from Sparky telling me that we were offered free box seats at the Madonna concert. "Yay," I said. "I hope she sings Lucky Star. And Material Girl. I really hope she sings Material Girl."
We got there a little before 8 pm and got to our box to order some food. We asked the wait staff who was opening for her, and were told a DJ- they didn't know his name. Interesting, but okay, I'll get on board. He came out about 9:00 to start. As a side note, it seems we were among a very small group of folks that did not know Madonna doesn't grace the audience with her presence until around 10 pm. The DJ was good. He may have been the highlight.

About 10:40 Madonna decided to come out. By this time, I was already tired. The first...ummm... production she did was about shooting her lover in the head. I don't know if you know this song, I didn't. In case you don't, allow me to explain. It is based on the storyline that she is a hardcore bandit of some kind (like a robber or whatever) that decides she wants to shoot her lover in the head repeatedly. I think that's what it was about. It was difficult to tell at times. I'm pretty sure the look on my face during most of the song was a combination of confusion and bitter beer. Sparky looked at me when the song was over and said, "well, that was violent". Indeed. Several of her songs were of that feeling. Violence, sex and lots of cursing. I will not give examples, but trust me when I tell you that she has a sailor's mouth.
 She did have some neat dancers and theatrical elements- I don't want to discount that. They did a great job. And she is in amazing shape for her age. Amazing. I know this for a fact because about 3/4 of the way into the show, she stripped down to her underwear and proceeded to show her hind quarters to the cameramen in charge of the big screens. She did a song in those undies at the end of which she laid on the stage and talked into her mic about throwing money on the stage for the people affected by Hurricane Sandy. I wish I had a picture of this. She literally laid flat on her stomach, laid the microphone down in front of her and talked into it like she was an amputee. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, she made it very clear that the money was going to Sandy victims. She "doesn't need our money". Good to know, Madonna. Good to know. Way to pull those heartstrings. I sort of hope she was half drunk. At least then she won't be crazy.

About halfway through the show she started asking people in the audience if Obama won. This went on for about 10 minutes. When she was convinced he did, she began to shout "We won! We won! Thank God! Thank God!" over and over. This turned into a 10 minute lovefest for Obama. My favorite part being when she said "And I just want to thank all of my fans that went out and voted for Obama, if you did. I love you." The rest of the show was more about Obama than anything. She dedicated a song to him- Masterpiece. Hmmm...questionable. And then she and her dance crew came out wearing Obama t-shirts to do the last couple of songs. Let me say before I continue that these are my opinions and should be treated as such. I do not ask that anyone agree with me. I do ask that you allow me to have my opinions, and that you allow me to voice them on my blog because, apparently, everyone is allowed to say what they think regardless of venue or company. Regardless of what party I voted for, I believe celebrities should keep their political views in check. The right place, the right time. The right time is at a political rally or on their twitter page. Not at a concert. People do not pay hard-earned money to go see what they think is Like a Virgin only to find out it is an Obama rally. Forget church and state, how about entertainment and state. Can we separate those? Also, didn't Madonna just recently move back to the states after living in England for years? Seems legit. And lest I forget the 5 minute soliloquy about how Obama rhymes with Madonna. haha! It rhymes! Amazing! Isn't that wonderful?! Actually, Madonna, it isn't that interesting and, frankly, I could be asleep right now, so let's hold off on calling Dr. Seuss and get on with the freaking concert. K? Thanks.
I miss the 80's Madonna. Speaking of which, she did not sing Material Girl or Lucky Star. She's lucky my ticket was free, that's all I know. Maybe she's different when it's not election time. Maybe we caught her on a weird night. I don't know. What I do know is that that particular experience made me not want to find out. I'll stick with my old school Madonna.

Whatever your beliefs are, you have the right to them. My belief is that we are in for a long ride. I will continue to work and live my life the best I can, and hope that one day we will be back on track and not owned by another country. I, personally, believe in God and all that he does. I believe he has a plan for us and I believe that if the Bible teaches us nothing else, it teaches us that we are at his mercy and his grace. He could take everything from us and bring us to our knees to learn the ultimate lesson. My favorite analogy of God is that he is a parent. Even if you're not a parent, it's not difficult to understand. Unconditional love, patience, trust, but most importantly, it is a parent's job to teach their children. Some lessons are harder than others. I think we're in for a hard lesson. For those of you that disagree, I hope you're right.
Being a Christian is difficult in these times. Everyone is so sensative to their own moral compass. Anti-Christian groups can have rallies and scream about how they don't want God involved in any aspect of their life. They don't want to see it, hear it, speak it, nothing. It's amazing to me which groups in our society have the loudest voices and get the most publicity. Look around. God is testing us and we're not doing so hot. A lot of this has nothing to do with the President, let's face it. This is just who we're becoming. We are vengeful, hateful, gluttonous, prideful beggars. Aren't we? Think about it. We just want an easier life. We want more for less. We want 1/2 price and buy one, get one free. We want to work less and get paid more. We want our dollar to mean more. We want cheaper gas, but we're not willing to do what it takes to get it. We want better products but we don't want to pay for them. Work is hard and not usually fun and I don't want to spend my money on crappy stuff. I want to spend it on what I want, but there isn't enough of it to do that. We are road ragers and murderers and gossipers. We don't love people. We judge people. Oh, there are a handful of folks who are still good to the core but mostly, no. Why do you think we feel the need to make a big deal out of do-gooders? They are uncommon. I don't care what side of the political fence you fall on, that's sad.

What got me the most out of everything Madonna said last night was the "we won" comment she kept repeating. Who is "we"? We the democrats? I think this is a major problem. WE needs to be America, not a political party. This has turned into a team sport. Us against them. We're gonna win, you're gonna lose. We're right, you're wrong. We're pretty, you're ugly. We love people and you hate them. Anyone else see the problem? There were lots of things last night that I was disappointed by, but mostly it was that people like Madonna are going around the country proving that we are an abrasive, arrogant nation.

"We have met the enemy, and he is us."- Walt Kelly

For my amusement

Things I love:
This woman's story- Kelle Hampton Truly inspiring. She is an amazing, beautiful, strong, delightful creature. This particular post will kick you in the gut a few times, but is worth the pain. Get the Kleenex out. You've been warned. She is an exceptional story teller and an exceptional person. Her entire blog is awesome.

A good book- Seriously, is there anything better? The correct answer is no. I'm one of those crazy people that gets so into the book that I start talking abou the characters as if they are real. Sparky loves this I'm sure. But I can't help it. I take breaks between books because I have to decompress and recompose myself. I am a freak and I love it. I'd love to know what books people love. Feel free to post some of your faves below.

Photography- I am not as learned as I would like to be. I am not as perfect as I would like to be. I am not as creative as I would like to be. But, man, I love taking pictures. Honestly, if I had to choose right now, I would choose still life/landscape. I like people too, don't get me wrong. There's just something about capturing a beautiful sunset or tree or really cool junk pile. I love stopping that moment in time. Knowing that sky will never look just like that ever again. Capturing the beauty of whatever God puts in front of my face at that moment. Plus, people move a lot.

My amazing family and friends- what would I do without them? They are my guideposts. They are my beacons. They are my advisors, my diaries, my mirrors, my accomplices, and my very own personal comedians. Recently, my friends and I started a "blog club". It's sort of like a book club but with blogs. In the short amount of time we've been doing it, I can honestly say I am moved. I highly recommend this group activity. And my fam. What can I say about them? We've been through a lot. But they show me constantly that there is good in the world. And that family is...it. I am inspired  and challenged to be better, stronger, smarter, funnier and more loving with each passing day. I could not ask for more.

Oh, and Ranch dressing. And lots of it.You heard me. Sometimes I wish I was one of those health conscience people that can eat oil and vinegar on salad... but I'm not. Full fat Ranch is what I'm about. Can't help it. I've tried others but they don't cut it. Judge me if you want.

Things I loathe:
Pickles. And tomatoes. And onions. Seriously, get out of here. And why do menus not list these items in their food descriptions? People, I do not want diced onions on my salad! List it or re-make it. That's all I'm sayin.

Birds in my house- Bet you didn't see that coming, did you? Yep, I came home the other day to a bird in my bedroom. Hello, friend. I did manage to get it back out the window before it flew throughout the house. But as I say that, I'm thinking, I have no idea how long it was in the house so it definitely could've taken a tour prior to my finding it. Sparky was not terribly impressed by this story. Although I will say I may have acted like it was a cougar, so maybe it was just that he realized Iwould survive the cute little bird before I did. I will say that I may have found a new calling in life. I opened a window, stood in front of it and made the best bird noise I had in my repotoire. He/she flew right towards me and out the window. I am the bird whisperer. Either that or he was trying to attack me and my noise and missed.

Political debates- Ok, I'm sorry for all of you groupies out there, but I can't take it. It's like watching cats fight. I just can't figure out how people get anything out of them. They make me uncomfortable and I find them annoying. So sue me.

The movie Julie & Julia. Raise your hand if you've seen this terrible excuse for a movie. It made me hungry and it made me want to punch Julia Childs. In the face.

What do you love and loathe? This is an interactive post, folks. Play along.

Funnel cakes and Falling water

The Wrap up:

This past weekend several things happened. Friday night Sparky and I went to a charity hockey game between the Pittsburgh firefighters and the Pittsburgh police officers at the Consol Center (that's the big arena where the Penguins play) Except that on Friday, which should have been the opening night of the Penguins season, the Penguins weren't playing. Why, you ask? Well, hockey is on strike. Shocking. Who isn't? Remember when sports was more than money? That was fun. So instead, there was a charity game. Love the idea! And, no offense to the policemen but I'm a firefighter girl. Yeah, the score was 6 to 2. Policemen. On top of that, they made me cry when they had the guy they were raising money for up on the jumbotron telling everyone thank you. I mean, crying at a hockey game?! I am not well.

We then decided to make our way to the end of the Mt. Lebo vs. Peters Twp high school football game. Ok, that sounds crazy. Here's why we did this- Sparky tells me he has a co-worker who is working at the concession stand selling funnel cakes (daughter in the band) and he told us to stop by. You had me at funnel cake. It wasn't exactly warm and I had on my cute Friday night clothes, boots included. So the only thing keeping me trekking up the steep hill from the parking lot to the stadium was the promise of the fair delight. No such luck. Sparky got his days/events mixed up. His co-worker was there but not with dough and hot oil. He was just a normal band parent. The funnel cakes were on Saturday...at a farm. I never got that funnel cake. Meanwhile, I haven't been to a high school football game since, well, high school. They are so funny. I was definitely judging just a little bit. "is that kid serious?", "who acts like that?" ,"ugh. grow up", "that stupid girl thinks she is so cool", "I never acted like that". What do they know, they're like 15? It totally made me miss high school.

 Saturday was surprise date day- Sparky's version- and I have to say, he's nailing this stuff. I've been really impressed (cause sometimes I think he waits until Friday and then just asks a co-worker what to do while I research for a week or more). But, so far, like I said- nailing it. This time we drove about an hour or so to a little town called Ohiopyle. There's a state park there and it is beautiful. And such a cute little town. We had these amazing sausage sandwiches that the volunteer fire department was selling. No, I didn't misspeak. Sausage sandwich not biscuit. It is a sausage patty on a bun with cheese on top. The patty has to be larger and thinner than your normal breakfast sausage. Think McDonald's sized. Sparky added pickles, I refrained. So simple, but so good. My nose found them before we did. I swear, I'm like a very intelligent, very clean dog. My nose and ears work too well for my own good. If you like rafting, kayaking, hiking, biking, etc you should venture to Ohiopyle. I don't really do any of that but I like to admire outdoor beauty, so it works.



The real surprise part of the date was later though. Sparky took me to Fallingwater. Fallingwater, for those who don't know, is a Frank Lloyd Wright design from the late 1930's. It is beautiful. More so on outside. Remember, I said 30's. The inside is still very much that era. Because apparently they didn't change a thing from the day construction was completed until they handed it over to the conservationists. It's still beautiful though. Did you know that Wright was a bit of a nut? He tended to get in arguments with his clients a lot. He also did whatever he wanted and told people it was his way or no way. The Kaufmann's wanted a 4-car garage for their little vacation home (that's what Fallingwater is) and Wright said no. He created the carport because he said enclosed spaces promote clutter. I tend to agree with that thought process. But he was still crazy. Crazy like a fox.

Here are my recipes for this post:

1. Crusty Bread- Fantastic! Love, love, love. I'm so excited to try variations of it. So impressive, but so easy.

2. Chicken Cordon Bleu Casserole- Yum. It makes a lot though so we'll be eating it a while

3. Crack dip- This stuff is like crack. I took a bowl of it to a friend's house for football. 4 adults. None left by halftime. It's good with chips but amazing with bread (like the crusty bread above)

4. Chicken Bacon Pizza- There's no link here cause I just threw this together myself. I used pre-made crust, put a little bit of pizza sauce on it (not much at all) and then sprinkled with Parmesan cheese. I used can chicken and bacon from a bag. You can cut up chicken and make bacon if you want. Then I saturated it with mozzarella cheese on top (we love us some cheese). Sparky liked it better than the pepperoni/mushroom I also made.

Let me know if anyone makes any of these recipes. I'd love to know what you thought about them.

Steelers

Nuff said.

And Recipes

So I went to Philly the other weekend to see my sister's new house/town. Ok, let me back up... My sis is moving to Philly (Jersey to be more specific- but right over the bridge so I'll say Philly). Her husband's company Godfathered him and gave him an offer he couldn't refuse. For those of you that don't know and are now thinking "that's great! you're in the same state now!" Ummm.. no. Philly and Burgh are about 5 1/2 hours apart. Not to mention their house is actually in Jersey which is just a tiny bit further. So it's not like we'll be hanging out every week or anything. It is closer than G-vegas so let's be thankful for that. Anyway, you're thinking Jersey Shore, right? Well, we did go there for the day but that's about 45 mins from where they actually live. They live in the burbs. Did you know that Jersey is a full service state? As in, when you get gas, they pump it. Not you. Literally, there are men standing around waiting to pump your gas. Seems legit. The big question is, do you tip them? Gas ain't cheap, friend. and it's not like you did something I'm not entirely capable of doing all on my own. I suppose you can guess which way I lean.

As stressful and sad as it is to leave the only home you've ever known, I think she/they will like it. Maybe not forever. But for now. Philly's cool and close to lots of other cool places so should be a fun little adventure. I'm sure I'll be going there quite a bit, so you'll hear more about it later. I will say that Atlantic City is somewhere in the middle on a scale of Mrytle Beach to Las Vegas.

All that said, my final verdict- Best. Cheesesteak. Ever.

Remember how I mentioned that Sparky and I are doing the "suprise" dates in order to get out and do things in our new community? Well, mine was last weekend and I was pretty dang proud of myself. We did glass blowing. Whaaaa??? Yes, blowing glass. It was super cool and fun and now we have some little glass pumpkins to show for it. The guys that do this are located in the eclectic, artsy Southside. The owner of the place (1 of the 2 guys working there) lives above it. But don't let that fool you. These guys are not artsy, fartsy pot heads doing a hobby. These guys are scientists. It is amazing what they have to know about heat disbursement, chemical reactions, and all sorts of things I have no idea what I'm talking about. It's a really cool process and I highly recommend it. And, below, TA DA, our pumpkins!

I've been trying to be a good wife recently. Okay, that's wrong. I'm always a good wife. I've been trying to be a better one. Yeah, that sounds right. Anyway, so my goal has been to try new recipes to spice up our meal life. This is step one in the amazing wife transformation. I think there are twelve steps total. Like AA. I've been doing pretty well. Some have been huge successes. Others not so much. Sparky does not have quite the sensative pallet that I do, so I can't always trust him to tell me if something is good or not. He will eat almost anything. Live octopus, bring it on. Mystery meat, sure why not. Leftovers from a month ago, yep. But you put a piece of pineapple in front of him and out come the "ugh! ewww! no.no.no" Odd. So if you're looking for good pineapple recipes, the only one I have is to mix the juice with Malibu and stir. Here's some of what I've made thus far and how it went over:

1. Chocolate chip Banana Oatmeal bread- enough said.

2. Skinny spaghetti- Ehhh...it's okay. If I'm out of real stuff to make, I might do it again

3. Crock pot chicken taco chili- Finger lickin' good times. So good!

4.  Baked Ranch and Parmesan chicken- I would give this 4 1/2 stars. Will make again

5. Roasted cabbage- No. Maybe we're just not cabbage people, but no.

6.No bake energy bites- I make these constantly. Can't get enough. No chocolate in mine.

7. Baked Egg Boats- The bread got inedibly hard so it was difficult to eat. Thumbs down.

8 Hasselback potatoes-Not impressed.Good in theory but didn't work out.Middle was raw

9. Turkey Chili- has potential. Next time will make a bit thicker but overall very good.

Thanks for stopping by for the latest edition of the Life and Times of Jess. Love to you all.

The Pearls Are Off

You know what I don't get? Drivers here. With all due respect (and we know since I said "all due respect, I can now say anything I want without fear of offending anyone) what is the deal with the whole "oh, sure, you need to get out of that gas station onto a four lane major road? Not a problem, let me just slam on my breaks real quick so you can slowly get out into traffic. You're welcome." or how about "aww, look at me. I'm going to stop my lane of traffic so you can take a left out of that parking lot. I'll wave you on cause I'm super nice. But just so you know, I'm not checking the other lane for cars and I'm definitely not going to make sure cars aren't coming in the other direction, so it's pretty much risking your life. You're welcome." Don't get me wrong, I'll be nice and let you out if I'm coming up to a red light or there's lots of traffic and I'm going to stop anyway. But not just randomly. So I propose- Is it nice or just stupid?

I will say this- after the Steelers lost last weekend, I did notice people being less likely to let others out. The niceness meter dropped just a bit that Monday. Interesting...
Speaking of which, I don't think it's possible (if you live here) to not be a Steelers fan. It's unlike anything I've ever seen. These people are cra cra about their football. I saw people dressed up in full Steelers gear like it was game day 2 months ago... on weekdays. A friend of ours got called out in church last Sunday for not wearing black and gold. It is a way of life here. I do appreciate that Pittsburgh had the good sense to make all their teams the same colors. Big shout out to the guy with that brilliant idea. We're going to the Steelers home game opener this Sunday. I'm a little worried my enthusiasm level isn't up to par with these folks quite yet. I'll let you know.

We went to the Pirates game a while back when my sis was in town and here's what came out of that...

1. Toto, I don't think we're in South Carolina anymore. Let me set the record straight. In the South, the majority of women wear cute outfits to games (All sports). Not all women. And they are most certainly not always cute. But nonetheless, a solid 70%. ESPN did a whole thing about southern girls and their cute outfits, so that's how serious it is. Sis and I were excited about our cute black dresses and yellow jewelry. I have this fantastic hat that's black and yellow plaid that was making it's debut. So, we finally walk up to the giant tailgate and it is soooo obvious that we are not from around these parts. We looked like we were going to prom. These women were not in cute outfits. They were in jerseys and jeans or t-shirts and shorts. WHHHAATTT?! Not a fan. I guess this is how it is everywhere but the South. Well, I may be the only one, but I'll be darned if I'm going to an event looking like I just got done mowing the lawn. I'll rock a jersey I'm sure, but it'll be cute if it kills me. You can take the girl out of the South but you can't take away my cute outfits.

2. You can take a ziploc bag of snacks and a bottle of unopened water into the stadium! Okay, maybe that's just exciting to me. I love snacks and water! And it's a good $30 cheaper for Sparky if I get to bring that stuff in from the outside where items are reasonably priced. Go Bucs!

Kenny. Not to be confused with Dolly

Well, I’m back from a needless and lazy break from typing.  I know everyone was anxiously anticipating my return. Well, anticipate no more, my friends. Let’s see…where to start…

Kennywood is as good a place as any I suppose. Kennywood (not to be confused and definitely not related to Dollywood) is a theme park really close to us that we took Sparky’s family to while they were here visiting. I think it would be a significantly better story if Kennywood was related to Dollywood, but sadly, it’s not. In reality, I’ve read the story of Kennywood and I’m not even sure where the Kenny comes from at all. Anyway, I’m not a roller coaster rider myself. I really just go for the food. But they made me get on one of those water rides cause surely I can handle that. Oh, I handled it alright. I got soaked. As in, wring me out over the state of SC and there’d be no more fear of drought. Fun. It was fun overall, though, so I guess I’ll live. I will say that my hubby and his bro-in-law rode the big, scary death coasters and they both said “Best. Ride. Ever.” After each one.

Remodeling- So, I’ve done a lot of painting, etc. but at some point we’re going to have to get real and start tearin’ stuff up…or down as it were. Just one little problem with that. Money. Why does it cost a small fortune to do anything? I mean, I could buy a car, or a small island for what these guys want to put a shower in our bathroom. I guess who I should really be upset with are the previous owners. I mean, who puts in fancy, claw foot tub (aka not a shower) in the master bathroom? I love a claw foot tub as much as the next person, but people take showers. So we trek our happy rear ends downstairs every morning to the only shower in the house which, of course logic would indicate, is in the den. Oops, not den. That’s not what they call them up here. Great room maybe? Whatever, the big room. So it’s in the great room. I fail to see the logic here. Then again I fail to see the logic in quite a few things the previous owners did. But, don’t worry, because Sparky and I have decided that we can do a lot of the remodeling ourselves. Oh yes, it’s happening and I’m sure it will be completely painless, cost nothing, and take no time at all. Yay us!

Phil- Sparky and I have decided that each month we will plan a surprise date for the other person. I thoroughly enjoy this idea and am completely on board because it will get us out in our new community. In August, his surprise for me was a drive up to Punxsutawney to see Phil. We stopped at some wineries along the way and then stayed the night in a precious B&B. Phil, in case you didn’t know, is housed in the local library there. Also, for your information, Gobbler’s Knob is about a 2.5 mile drive from the middle of town. It’s near the Wal-Mart if you’re ever up that way. Some other tidbits you might want to know prior to going are that the only restaurant in the actual town that’s open on a Saturday evening is McDonald's (don’t worry, we drove a bit to get food), the only bar in town was not open- don’t know why, and the movie Groundhog's Day was not actually filmed there.  Oh, and apparently, the townsfolk aren’t real keen on that movie, so if you think it’ll be fun to watch the movie while being in the town, you’ll have to bring it with you. Overall, an adorable surprise and a good little overnight adventure. Props to Sparky. If you're wondering what my surprise date for August was- I got us tickets to see Jim Gaffigan at the Benedum Theatre. Not nearly as...um... interesting, but it was super fun.

Ok I'm drained for now but I'll be back with more soon. Promise

Afters

Foyer

Living Room

Dining room project

Phase 1-  Wallpaper (layer 1)

Phase 2- Wallpaper (layer 2)

Phase 3- Paint wainscoting

Phase 4- Paint walls

Phase 5- clean room...

Let's see... over the last couple of weeks I've taken down more wallpaper, painted some more, gone to a bachelorette weekend, bought a 7 lb. bag of ground beef, gone on an interview, taken a trip to Germany, and eaten a giant sundae.

So first things first- the wallpaper... what? Oh, you've heard this before. Same book, different chapter. Don't worry, I won't get into it again. You know the drill. So let's move on.

Bachelorette weekend in Chuck Town with the cutest bride EVER. We had so much fun! Her wedding is in about 10 days and I'm so excited about it! Beware of the ugly cry. I can't go into detail about our trip cause as you know, what happens in Charleston, stays in Charleston. Yeah, I'm' pretty sure that's right. Or I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you. Either way, not telling. Before we hit up the wedding festivities, though, we'll be headed to Lake Anna for our annual July 4th fun thanks to the Bryan family. Always a good time. Basically, we have a super fun week coming.

On to the meat. I know that one got you. Ok so there's this really cool market in what's called "The Strip District" (and, no, it's not like the red light district). It's like a giant farmer's market and a bunch of restaurants. The bag of meat came from this cool market called Wholey's. It's a giant meat and seafood extravaganza. I imagine it's something one would imagine more so in San Francisco or somewhere. But it's here -which is awesome. Anyway, you can buy giant bags of meat. Who knew?

The interview. Oh, the interview. Ugh. I'll tell you one thing, I hate finding a job. Hate. I mean, I've been using Outlook and Excel for years and never have I ever experienced some of the things they were asking. First of all, I'm not sure it's entirely reasonable to ask someone to describe how a function works in excel without letting them look at the program. Also, what I do know about that specific program is that there's more than one way to skin a cat. Well, not for them apparently. Their way or the highway. I wish I could remember some the questions on the timed, only one correct answer exam. May or may not have been worse than the SAT. Then after an hour of testing, I finally get to talk to someone. And by someone, I mean a robot. What is wrong with HR people? Is it a qualification that you have to be personalityless to get those jobs? I was using some of my best stuff. I'm funny. I'm witty. I'm personable. She gave me nothing. And, seriously, are "give me an example of a time when you..." or "what would you say your strengths are" really the best questions they can come up with? It's exhausting. They can't possibly think these asinine, redundant questions are insight to a person's personality or work ethic.

Guten Tag! Ok so we didn't actually go to Germany. Just to Haufbrauhaus. This place is crazy. We originally sat outside on the giant deck by the water but then moved inside after dinner when we heard all the singing. They have picnic tables lined up inside and everyone stands on them and sings along with the band. It's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious kind of fun.

The sundae...mmmm... the sundae. Never in my life have I experienced such a sundae. Sarris Candies. It's where hot fudge lives. I don't even know what to say about it. You have to experience it.

So, there's your update.  Kinda makes you want to visit the Burgh, doesn't it?

Befores

Left-Den

 Right- Dining Room

 Left- Foyer         Right- Living Room (you can't tell from the pic but the LR is the same green as the dining room)

 Kitchen

Wallpaper and other stories of drunkeness

Welcome back internet. Welcome back TV. Oh, how I've missed you! And I have so much to tell you all. Okay, so we closed on the house about a month ago (although I've only been here for about 2 weeks of that). We've been working our butts off!! P.S. if I can give anyone advice about decorating, let it be that wallpaper is NEVER the answer. Seriously. I have spent far too many hours spraying and scraping, spraying and scraping. Then peeling. All the peeling. I can't get those hours back, ya know what I mean? Do yourself and everyone who may own your house in the future a favor and just don't do it. I hear an accent wall is coming back in style. I salute and encourage it, in fact, I'm doing one...but not with wallpaper. And yesterday I discovered a delightful treat, 2 layers of wallpaper in the dining room. The hits just keep on comin...

Moving on- the people we bought our house from are...let's say...different. And by different, I mean crazy. Like certifiably nutso. To be fair, we suspected the husband might be a bit off his rocker towards the beginning of our relationship. Little did we know, the wife was also on the crazy train. Let's see...what tale to tell. Well, first of all, they were drunk at our walk through. Classy, right? At one point, Sparky asked them if they work or are retired. Her response, however, indicated what she heard was "Are you retarded?" Then there's the fact that the garbage man told me, in no uncertain terms, that they are alcoholics. Yeah, the universal hand signal for alcoholic. You know, the thumb and pinkie out, thumb to the mouth signal. Then there's the fact that they busted out bags full of crushed beer cans every week. Oh, and lest I forget, there was a restraining order on the husband for three months prior to the sale of the house. I could go on and on. The arsenal of guns (he actually laid them out in the driveway once), the vague answers to questions ("let's just say I work for an agency"), the fact that they left cups of wine and open beer cans in the fridge. P.S. it took me half a day to clean the refrigerator. The inside of the dishwasher is all rusted...how does that even happen? Cra Cra, I tell you.

So, I'm going to try to post some pics of the house soon. Before and afters hopefully. I would like to say, for the record, that just by painting and taking down wallpaper, I think we could turn around and sell this house for about $10,000 more than we bought it for. Amazing.

What do firemen, chinese auctions and horses have in common?

A Night at the Races, that's what.

So, we were invited to a charity event on Saturday for the local fire department. And, as we all know, firemen have a special place in my heart so I was looking forward to it. The location of this event was right near the border of PA and WV (just giving you a heads up). Anyway, what happened after we got there was...how do I say.... unexpected. You see, what happens at this event is a bunch of seemingly small town folk get together, eat a crap ton of food, drink beer and bet on horses. Attendees could pay ahead of time to name a horse (further explanation of this below). The races are pre-recorded and then someone picks a race randomly throughout the night. And that's when the magic happens.Y'all, there is literally a guy who makes a living going around to these events and calling the races. Okay so, imagine the funniest/most vulgar name you can. Horse name, not person. Now imagine a guy yelling it out repeatedly along with 9 other terribly ridiculous names. Maybe you had to be there. It was hilarious. People bet on the horses and everything. Like a real, legit horse race. The Chinese auction, however, is where I really racked up. Sort of like a silent auction but with tickets, so more like a drawing. Sort of. Yeah, I clearly don't know how to explain it. But I got a cool basket of stuff though. Overall my findings were that horse racing is pretty darn fun to watch and that Pennsylvania people are not all that different than South Carolina people. Case in point- there was a guy sitting at our table that used to be a professional bull rider. I kid you not. We have got to get this down South.

Sunday afternoon we went to the Pirates game (Arrrrrr!!) It was about 85 degrees with full sun. Felt like Miami, no lie. Pirates lost- booo... but we had fun- yay.... A fun fact for you- the Pirates were originally named the Pittsburgh Alleghenies. Thank goodness that didn't stick.

The weekend was fun-filled and action packed. We close on our house on Wednesday so I'll post an update as soon as I can (aka when we get Internet).

Closing time

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

Well, it's time to make the long journey up to the Burgh. We're closing on the house soon, which means I'll be living in cardboard box hell again. Joy. I will say that I'm sort of ready to get up there though. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to miss Greenville and everyone here so much it hurts, but this in between nonsense has got to stop. I've had enough. And it might be nice to actually live with my husband again.

 I'm terrible at goodbyes, but let's face it, this isn't goodbye, it's see ya later. So let's all get excited cause there's no crying in baseball!!! Wait...wrong analogy. You know what I mean.

So, here's to new beginnings and old ones too. To new adventures, to old friends and lots of memories. Thanks for everything G-vegas! Cheers!

Hold on to your hats, here we go...

Well, it's my last week in Greenville before I make the journey up to the Burgh. Lots of lunches and dinners to be had. I haven't been stressed, really, until now. Stress is upon me. I'm not sure why exactly. I mean, other than the fact that my whole life is about to change. Don't worry, I'm still excited about it.

We close on the house next week. Hopefully all will go well with that. It'll be interesting to see how our furniture fits into this house. Pray for Sparky as I may have him moving stuff around like musical chairs. I'll post some pics of the inside of the house when I get a chance, so stay tuned. Sorry for the short update but not much has happened since my last post. Fortunately, it's about to get real interesting up in here.

House update

As some of you know by now, we are under contract on the house from my previous post-see photo above. Now we just need to get through the inspection process. I've had lots of questions about the house so let me tell you a bit about it. First of all, it is one of (maybe the only actually) that has a flat yard. Amazing. It's about 85 years old, brick, 2 car garage. It needs some work, but we like that apparently. The street it's on is adorable. And we're really close to Trader Joe's, Anthropologie, and lots of other shopping. We're about 10 minutes or so from downtown in the township of Mt. Lebonon (which we have to start referring to as Mt. Lebo much to my dismay). Sparky likes to say it like a Jersey Shore gangster. Or maybe it's Yogi bear, I don't know. Also, please note it is pronounced Mt. Lebonin. We have been corrected repeatedly.

Anyway, that's where we are. Still up in the air sort of, but I have confidence it will work out however it's supposed to. We're looking forward to hopefully being in a house soon!

the Journey we choose

Somebody call Journey cause I think I stopped believing for a second. And I think we all know how they feel about that. This whole house thing is more difficult than anticipated. Okay, I realize it probably is for everyone so, no, I don't need you to start singing You Are Not Alone. It's one of those "If I could just pick up this house and put in a different neighborhood, we'd be fine" or "I'd like this house except for these major renovations we'll have to do". sigh... I'm trying really hard not to be too picky, but let's face it, that's just not me. Sparky is a visionary though so he likes to tell me we can fix everything. Blow out a wall here, add a bathroom there, no worries. Yeah okay, no worries (insert nagging doubts here).

Anyway, I got a little down this weekend feeling like there wasn't a house for us. But God knew it and sent in Sparky's brother to turn me around. Sparky saw a print in one of the houses that is the same as his bro's, so he sent him a text. I thought nothing of it honestly. But Sparky's brother saw something. See, we're all about signs and "what's meant to be, will be" in this family, so seeing that print incited a series of symbolic explanations. The biggest one being the title of the print- "Southern Comfort". Take what you will from it, but had he not pointed it out, it would have been overlooked by me.

On a different note altogether, we were at a friend's house this past weekend having dinner. The wife (who is "from" Atlanta) tells me that the biggest difference she has seen since living in Pittsburgh is the overall lack of pretense. She really likes the fact that people are who they are. There isn't the overwhelming need to impress others. Everyone we've come in contact with thus far has been super nice and helpful and it really does seem to be genuine. They don't try to be something they're not and they're not terribly concerned with what others think. Now that's something I can get on board with!

We also went into the city this weekend and ate at Primanti Bros.- they made the sandwich with coleslaw and french fries on it a Pittsburgh delicacy. Of course I got mine without the coleslaw. Apparently, if I had been in the original one in the Strip District, they would've refused to serve me and my ridiculous non-slawed self. Blasphemy is, I believe, how they refer to the changing of the sandwich. Good to know. Anywho, I'm pretty sure we just missed a flash mob in the square where we were, which upset me because I imagine that is the closest I will ever get to seeing one live. Overall a good trip. We've made an offer on a house (yes, the one with the picture) so we'll see how it goes. I guess if the dog print is the omen we think it is, we're all set.

Oh, I almost forgot! I witnessed an almost fight in the airport on the way to The Burgh. One guy cut in front of another one while boarding the plane and the next thing you know there's a circle around them, school yard style. A girl in the crowd watching yelled "Is this a terrorist attack?!" I don't care who you are, that's funny. I mean, there are literally assigned seats folks! So I ask you, what is wrong with people?!

Who's with me??

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What's LEFT in Pittsburgh

So here's what I learned about The Burgh this weekend-

1. There are 446 bridges in the city of Pittsburgh, hence why it is called the "City of Bridges". That's 3 more than Venice, Italy! Amazing!

2. They have an obscene number of Italian restaurants. They are EVERYWHERE. Also, they serve huge portions. A woman we were with Friday night was all "just so you know, they serve huge portions up here." Awww... bless her heart. I said, "Sweetie, I live in the way too much food capital of the world. It's called the South." But thanks for comin out.

3. It is borderline impossible to find a flat yard. Front or back. Very hilly. Not used to that. Have fun mowing, Sparky!

4. The Crowne Plaza parking lot in Mt. Lebanon is, perhaps, the windiest place in the world. Seriously, it would give Everest a run for it's money. If I'd had a umbrella, I would have been Mary Poppined all the way to Philly.

5. There are so many deer! We went to a house and there were about 5 deer just hangin out in the back yard. Sparky and I stood there in awe while our realtor just laughed. Totally normal. Totally common. No big deal. Just a herd of deer. I'm terrified of hitting one now- which I'm told will happen most likely. Awesome. Can't wait.

6. There is something called a "Pittsburgh left" which we witnessed several times. Allow me to explain. A Pittsburgh left is when someone turning left takes their life and the life of anyone in their car or yours into their hands. They turn left across the intersection right in front of oncoming traffic. And, no, I'm not talking about "oh, there's a car coming in about 50 feet, I think I can make it". What I'm referring to is when the oncoming car has to slam on brakes and/or swerve so as not to hit the turning car. It. Is. Crazy. And this is accepted practice. Just put on a clean pair of underwear and move on. Not I. Hello, my name is Jessica and I've just become the slowest driver in America. Maybe I'll get one of those bumper stickers that says "I may be going slow, but I'm still in front of you". Too much? Well, just in case I'm not explaining it correctly, feel free to Wikipedia it- it's there.

Moving on-- we found some houses we like but are still up in the air. To rent or not to rent? That is the question. Just for a year though. And while I see the value in not feeling pressured to buy and to be able to really figure out the area we want to live in, moving twice makes me want to jump off of one of those 446 bridges. Not sure what we'll do at this point. This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friend.

Living in cardboard box hell

So basically this is the idea of what we've been living in over the last couple of weeks. If you know me at all, you can feel my dread and panic due to this nonsense. If you don't know me, imagine an organizational, borderline OCD clean freak in a hoarder's house. Getting the idea? Sparky (not my husband's name, but how I will refer to him from now on- another story for another time) kept saying "it's not too much longer". Easy to say when you're not the one in the middle of a minor panic attack because you can feel the boxes closing in on you. But the new company paid for movers which made the process much easier...right?? Yes, well we'll compare blissful tales of amazingness when you're digging through a cardboard box for your deodorant okay? Daily use-that's all I'm sayin. Anyway, it's fine. I found it, in case you are wondering. Made Sparky find my hairdryer though.
Additionally, after the movers were gone, all of the ugly, dirtiness was left behind. Who knew? Ugh! At one point my hubs told me to "avert my eyes" because he knew I would freak out at the dog hair that was hidden under our dresser. He may or may not kill me in the future when I make him move the furniture every time I clean. It's all good. We're officially out of the house now and back at my mom's. Although, if you saw my car you might think we're living out of that. I've been telling everyone I know "Don't move. Ever." But, okay, the reality is I think it would be fine if we had another house to take all the stuff to. We don't. Therefore, I live in cardboard box hell. Brace yourself now, I'm about to get positive- I'm hoping we find the most perfect house there ever was this weekend and don't have to be up in the air too much longer. Pray for me, Argentina.

The Mount Rushmore of changes

Well, the hubs finally decided to take a job with a different company after 13 years. This is the Mount Rushmore of monumental changes. Change is good, right? Yes, change is good. Change is GOOD. Despite it being so wonderful, however; I'm not having a blast with it. Let's get real though- Besides Greenville, SC I've only lived as far as Columbia, SC, so the anticipation of moving to Pittsburgh,not SC is, well, intimidating. Luckily, I have Pinterest and Facebook to get me through. I don't know what I would do without them. I mean, I wouldn't know how to decorate a house, or cook or dress myself properly or talk to my friends. I would have absolutely no idea what was going on in the world without those tools, so I'm thrilled I can pull out my trusty iphone, click on that little "f" and find out whose child did something hilarious today. Seriously though, my husband thinks I'm addicted to those sites now... just wait. So, upcoming events include: moving. just kidding- I'm going up there this weekend to look at houses so may be posting some pics shortly. Stay tuned...